A Grate-Full 4th

Like many families, I enjoy spending the 4th of July outside playing games, grilling food, laughing - enjoying good times with great company, and waiting for it to get dark for the fireworks to begin.  This 4th, like many in my profession, I will be working.  I'm hoping to get home in time to watch the fireworks with my family, but that is never a guarantee.   But that doesn't mean that I have forgotten the significance of the 4th of July.  Far from it.  As a family historian, I am very aware of the contributions of my family members to this history of America through their military service.
I humbly thank and I am thankful for  -
Scott Sowieja - my own son-in-law.  He served in the US Marine Corps in Iraq.  Our lives are much better for him and for his service.  Our family knew 36 hours of hell as communications were lost with him during an intense battle in Ramadi.  We experienced a small slice of what our mothers and grandmothers before us went through.  I remember sitting in a drive through at Wendy's, my phone ringing and hearing "Hi Mom" All I could say was "Oh my God!" over and over.  Until I made the most brilliant of remark..."What do you need?"  He said a "massage" and I realized that I could do nothing from literally a half a world away, but I knew that if I could get on a plane with my massage table right then and there, I would have.  Scott came home on my birthday that year.  I count that as one of the best birthday presents I have ever received.  We love you Scott.
Mike Chapman -  my Uncle.  He enlisted in the US Army in 1934.  He fought in WW 2 and Korea.  Retiring in the late 1960's/early 1970's.   A quiet man, he never spoke much about his service but a newspaper clipping states that he served in the Rhine campaign, receiving several decorations for his brave service.  He passed away in 2009.  He is one of my hero's having braved through several bouts of recurrent cancer and even becoming a century (100 mile) bike rider when in his 70's.  He last tried to ride the Hotter -n-Hell in Wichita Falls, Texas, in 2005.  He wasn't able to make it far due to his declining health.  But he and I were able to make the start of the ride with 14,000 of our closest friends.  (The Hotter-n-Hell is held the last weekend in August each year.  Hence the name of the ride.  They have rides from 6 mile family rides to 100 miles of in your face heat and humidity.  Take your pick!)
Vollie Chapman - my Uncle and brother of Mike.  He joined the Navy, and served in the Pacific Theater during WW 2. Vollie joined the military 12 December 1942 and  died on 19 April 1945 during the Battle of Okinawa, just 6 days before Adolph Hitler and Eva Braun died via suicide in a German bunker.  He was buried in Washington State in 1949.  I have not figured out why there was a 4 year delay, but I thank the Veterans of Foreign Wars for assisting Sena, Vollies' wife, in bringing him home.
Roy G. Swanson - my maternal Grandfather.  He was the son of Swedish immigrants, who enlisted for service in the Army during WW 1.  I know that he was sent home from Europe while in France, but  not much else (yet).  He came home and led the quiet life of a farmer in Illinois, even hosting German POW's on his farm during the next World War.  I met my Grandfather once.  He was a gentle soul.  I have a picture of my Grandfather in his Army uniform.  I think about what he saw during his life,  2 World Wars,  the "Spanish Flu" pandemic, the Great Depression,  the Korean conflict and part of the Vietnam war, the assignation of both JFK.  So much history in one lifetime.
Jesse Van Chapman - my paternal Grandfather.  He enlisted for the 1st World War.  There is no record of him serving, but he enlisted for service with small children at home.  My Grandparents were married in 1910.
Valentine Martin - my G-G-Grandfather.  He entered as a 2nd Lt. during the Civil War.  He served for a short time in Company H, 41st Infantry, Georgia, CSA, also known as the "Wool Hat Boys".  He was mustered out several months later.  I have tried to find out why he only served from March to July, 1862.  A very kind Professor of History at the University of Georgia has told me that he figures that while my ancestor could read and write, perhaps not to the level needed for an officer.
Captain Charles Weatherford -  Captain Weatherford married one of my maternal G-G-Aunts, Martha Virginia Staples.  It is the brother of Martha, Daniel Webster Staples (my great-grandfather) who married the daughter of Valentine Martin, Nannie Elizabeth Martin (my great-grandmother).  The Captain also served in the Confederate Army.  He was part of the Alabama Calvary known as "Barlow's Boys".   Captain Weatherford and my Aunt are both buried in Monroe County, Alabama.  Captain Weatherford's grandfather was known as "Red Eagle".  He played an intregal part of the massacre at Fort Mims in 1813 which ironically had ties to Martha Staples' family as several family members were killed in that massacre.  It also played a role in the rise of a certain military man and future President of the United States, Andrew Jackson.
Thomas Martin, Sr. - grandfather of Valentine Martin.  Thomas served in the Revolutionary War as a scout in the Horse Militia.  The Martin farm skirted the boarder of North and South Carolina.  Thomas joined the military after a battle where "mountain men" had to march south after defeat by Lord Cornwallis.  That march led these men close to the William Martin farm during the fall of the year.   Thomas married Sabra Wilkie several months prior to the signing of the Declaration of Independence i 1776.
This is by no means a complete list of the service people in my family.  Only the ones that I have found through my research at Ancestry.com  and the history passed down to me by family members.  I am still researching my family history and I am proud of what I have uncovered.
So from my family to yours, Happy 4th of July!  I hope you have a great time making wonderful memories with family and friends.  To those of you that have served, or know of brave service men and women of whatever conflict,  you have my eternal thanks for your courage and commitment to a cause bigger than yourself.  

Lest We Forget - SPA

Happy 4th of July for those of you in the USA!

And  Happy 4th of July to every one else...you just may not have the fireworks...LOL!

This is my creation for Sunday Postcard Art.  The pictures on this postcard are photos of my maternal Grandfather who fought in World War I, and my paternal Uncles who fought in World War II (one died during that war) and also fought in the Korean conflict.  I am VERY proud of them.  They answered a call that today, most people do not understand.  Military service is now a pathway to a government paid education.  Little thought is given to the sacrifice necessary to live a military lifestyle and the call to serve the country.  

For those who choose that life and path of service, you have my undying gratitude.  

Thank you.

For my Wedding

The song that will be sung by Rob Campbell (RJC...he's one of the talented folks on my list) is "For my Wedding", originally sung by Don Henley on his "Inside Job" album.  The opening lines of the song go something like;

For my wedding

I will dress in black

never more will I look back

on my dark angels 

we must past 

for I have made a sanctuary 

of my heart.

And indeed I have found that sanctuary in the heart of Steve.   He has been my best friend for 12 years.  But it took a separation of 18 months to appreciate what we had together.  Even while we were separated, we remained friends, nether one of us chasing the other, just enjoying each others company.  

During our separation I experienced some devastating losses and intense stress.  My father was re-diagnosed with the cancer that would eventually take his life in less than 4 months. During the last 2 months I lived with him in a vain attempt to take care of him and get him back to health.  Right after his death, my pregnant daughter, grandson, and her soon to be ex-husband moved in with me at my father's house.  I was working  12 hour night shifts to keep the bills paid and roof over our heads took its toll.  A year after my father died, I was nearly bankrupt, exhausted; I couldn't do it by myself anymore.  I struggled with that guilt for nearly a year after my daughter and two grandchildren went to live with my youngest daughter and son-in-law in Minnesota, and I began the process of putting my life back together.  Steve was there all of that time.  Watching, encouraging, nagging, all with great care and love.  

Today, in front of family and friends, we will be married.  A promise to be there for each other for the rest of our lives.  For better for worse.  We have been there and have no illusions that there will be a happily ever after without a lot of compromise and hard work, with a few misunderstandings along the way.  I will be thinking of my parents, both gone.  A wish that my Aunt and Uncle could be here to be witness the wedding, but they are both over 90 and traveling is difficult.   

But I know that I am loved.

I am happy.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to one and all.  

Whether its Christmas, the Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, a celebration of new beginnings and family is at hand.  For all of us, we have our own deep personal meaning to this day.  Although, I'll be the first one to admit that I love to immerse myself in the mythology and traditions of Santa Claus.  There are ideals there that are worth keeping; selflessness in the act of giving without expecting anything in return, looking for the best in others, being nice instead of naughty.  There is magic in children leaving cookies and milk out of Santa ( and hopefully carrots for the reindeer!). Carols that survive the ages are still sung, snow people are built in front yards, unless you life in the American Southwest where they are built of tumbleweeds.  Families watch "Its a Wonderful Life" , "How the Grinch stole Christmas" and "A Christmas Carol", cookies and other baked goods are made by the dozens to be shared with family and friends.  Weeks of shopping is rewarded with the "Oh thank you!  How did you know I wanted that!?"  

Charles Dickens had it right when he ended "A Christmas Carol" with the thought that Mr. Scrooge held Christmas in his heart everyday for the rest of his life.  I do believe that if we could all do those things that we labor so hard for at this time of year, that this would be a better place for all of us.   The feelings of good will towards all men would be extended despite the economy and  political battles.  Our neighbors would be more important than ideologies.  We know celebrities better than we do the people next door to us.  Maybe if we kept Christmas in our hearts as did Mr. Scrooge treating others as we wish to be treated would become the rule and not the exception. 

To all who wander here, I wish  you a very Merry Christmas, however you celebrate this day.  I wish for you love and peace in your heart and soul, for your family and friends.

Learning Curve

There are times for me that I have to look for the beauty amongst the bleak.  This is one of those times.  It has nothing to do with any political landscape.  It is the landscape of my own heart and soul.

It has been said, and I have even uttered the words that the older I got, the more intelligent my parents became.  And now as a mother and grandmother, I understand the hope and pain that our parents quietly (and sometimes not so quietly in my case) endured.  We work hard to raise our children with the tools to go out and live honest, productive, and loving lives.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.  Then we have to sit and watch their lives unfold from the sidelines. 

It is in times like these however, that we find out what kind of relationship we have with our family members.  Will they talk with us about their decisions?  Do they trust us enough to do that?  Can we allow them to make their decisions without getting in their way?  Can we love them through our own pain?  And if it doesn't work out for them, do we have the strength to NOT say "I told you so."?  Will the worry ever go away?  I don't know the answer to that last question. 

I find it another paradox in my life that while at my age I am looking forward to having my life back; to have a sense of freedom that those with family at home to take care of do not have.  On the other hand  I find that I long to have my family close.  I want to be able to tuck my grandbabies in at night and talk with my children.  

So for now, I will look for those small, bright colored desert flowers surrounded by thorns.  I will learn to enjoy the beauty, the color, and the courage it takes for them to appear in such harsh conditions.   

Dia de los Muertos

The honoring and rememberence of those who have gone before does not end with Halloween or Samhain.  Today is Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead.  

Today people will gather in homes and in cemeteries to celebrate life.  Does that sound like a paradox?  It is.

Families will decorate alters and graveyards with colorful decorations, music will play, candles and incense will be lit.  Special food prepared and shared with both the living and the dead.   Stories told, laughter heard, the bonds of family strengthened. 

All life has a cycle.  Its something that we are all aware of, but we'd rather not think of the end of that cycle.  That cycle is sacred.  Life is sacred.  But we just don't want to think about death and how to honor that part of life. 

I work in a hospital.  I have been involved with "Code Blue" and even performed chest compressions on those folks who want everything done to keep them alive.  It can be a brutal thing to do to a person.  Sometimes I have wondered why?  Why are we doing all of this on a 90 year old person with Alzheimer's? Or terminal cancer? Or end stage liver or kidney failure?  Is it because we are more afraid of death than we are of living with the disease and its treatment no matter how hard it is to go through?  My personal opinion is that just because we have the technology doesn't mean we always need to use it.  We need to enjoy every stage of life.

I hope today that you will honor those who have gone on before you.  Remember them with love, a smile, a laugh, with joy.   

The Love of Parents

This was my final entry for the New Kids on the Block contest for Digital Scrapbook Place.  The photos are of my parents, both deceased, my daughters, son-in-law, the grandkids, and me.  

Some of the elements in the layout have been altered either by re-coloring them or de-saturating the colors, whatever I needed to do to make it work. 

The contest started out with over 100 beginning digital scrapbookers and ended up with 50 or so who made it through all 3 rounds.  

I am very proud to say...I placed 7th.

My Girls - 1984

One of the reasons that I create stuff, is that I want a tangible record that I lived.  It is very important to me that I give to my children and grandchildren a record of life, not only of mine but of the family that they have never met.  I suppose part of that comes from not having much of an extended family myself.  I grew up an only child; awkward, shy, overweight, alone and very lonely.  I didn't excel at anything.  I was the one that you really didn't know was in class.  My parents worked hard and had their own issues that I stayed far away from.  My extended family I barely knew and rarely saw, except for my paternal Grandmother who lived with each of her children at one time or another.  

Family is so important to me.  I am now an "orphan", both of my parents have passed away.  I have tried to instill in my daughters the bonds of family and loyalty, even though I was a very poor role model. 

We all have survived, and in a sense thrived.  My daughters are very good women.  I have two grandchildren that are adored and sheltered by us.  I have a son-in-law that is the best.  He has served his country in Iraq, and has paid a price for that service.  He is a loving, caring, man.  I am a blessed woman to have such a family.

This picture is from 1984.  My youngest is on the left, oldest on the right.  They truly are best of friends and worst of enemies.  But despite all of that, they are family.  They fight each other but unite to take on the world together.  I am blessed.

Grandma and Jayna

My first digital page without any assistance, and of course, it is all about my Grandchildren.  I miss them more than I can say.  Just that thought can move me to tears.  

With all of the uncertainty in the world right now, at least our families and friends can be a shelter in the storm...if we let them.  Hug time a little tighter, smile longer, laugh freely, listen patiently, and know in your heart and soul that you are not alone.