For my Wedding

The song that will be sung by Rob Campbell (RJC...he's one of the talented folks on my list) is "For my Wedding", originally sung by Don Henley on his "Inside Job" album.  The opening lines of the song go something like;

For my wedding

I will dress in black

never more will I look back

on my dark angels 

we must past 

for I have made a sanctuary 

of my heart.

And indeed I have found that sanctuary in the heart of Steve.   He has been my best friend for 12 years.  But it took a separation of 18 months to appreciate what we had together.  Even while we were separated, we remained friends, nether one of us chasing the other, just enjoying each others company.  

During our separation I experienced some devastating losses and intense stress.  My father was re-diagnosed with the cancer that would eventually take his life in less than 4 months. During the last 2 months I lived with him in a vain attempt to take care of him and get him back to health.  Right after his death, my pregnant daughter, grandson, and her soon to be ex-husband moved in with me at my father's house.  I was working  12 hour night shifts to keep the bills paid and roof over our heads took its toll.  A year after my father died, I was nearly bankrupt, exhausted; I couldn't do it by myself anymore.  I struggled with that guilt for nearly a year after my daughter and two grandchildren went to live with my youngest daughter and son-in-law in Minnesota, and I began the process of putting my life back together.  Steve was there all of that time.  Watching, encouraging, nagging, all with great care and love.  

Today, in front of family and friends, we will be married.  A promise to be there for each other for the rest of our lives.  For better for worse.  We have been there and have no illusions that there will be a happily ever after without a lot of compromise and hard work, with a few misunderstandings along the way.  I will be thinking of my parents, both gone.  A wish that my Aunt and Uncle could be here to be witness the wedding, but they are both over 90 and traveling is difficult.   

But I know that I am loved.

I am happy.